The 4 Types of Choices That Shape Your Life

You Have More Choices Than You Think: Why Taking Ownership of Your Decisions Is the First Step to Getting Unstuck

As a coach, one of my core philosophies is that of "choices."

Beyond the consideration of exceptions here and there, I firmly believe that everyone has choices.

Whether you realize it or not, you're a choice-making machine. You make hundreds of choices every single day.

From choosing to mash or not mash the snooze button in the morning, to choosing what to eat for lunch, to choosing whether to take a shower before going to bed.

You're constantly making choices.

And most of the choices you make throughout the day are made subconsciously. Or, at the very least, with very little thought.

But choices are being made.

And that's the key.

The 4 Flavors of Choices

Choices come in different forms, and understanding these forms is the first step toward taking back control of your life.

Flavor #1: The choices you know you made but won't take responsibility for.

These are the ones where you knew exactly what you were doing, but when the consequences showed up, you pointed the finger elsewhere. You took the shortcut at work, and when it backfired, you blamed your coworker for not catching your mistake. You skipped the gym for three months, and now it's the gym's fault for being too far away.

Flavor #2: The choices you made but didn't realize you made.

These are sneaky. They happen on autopilot. You "didn't have time" to work on your side business but somehow found two hours to scroll social media. You didn't consciously decide to waste that time. But you did decide. Your actions made the choice for you.

Flavor #3: The choices you know exist but refuse to acknowledge.

This is where denial lives. You know you could leave the job that's draining you. You know you could have that difficult conversation with your partner. You know you could set boundaries with that client who treats you like garbage. But acknowledging those choices means you'd have to do something about them. So, you pretend they don't exist.

Flavor #4: The choices you made because you chose not to make one at all.

This is passive choice-making. Inaction is still action. When you avoid making a decision, you're still making one. You're choosing to let circumstances, other people, or time make the decision for you. And guess what? Those forces rarely have your best interests in mind.

Why This Matters More Than You Think

Where you end up in life is a direct result of the choices you make or don't make.

That's not motivational poster fluff. It's just math.

Every choice has consequences. Those consequences compound over time. String enough of them together, and you get your current situation. Your job. Your relationships. Your health. Your finances. Your stress levels. Your happiness (or lack thereof).

People complain about this and that, but you rarely ever see them point the finger at the choices they made, actively or passively.

Which leaves those people stuck.

Because if you refuse to accept that your choices got you where you are, you can't make the choices necessary to get somewhere else.

You stay in the same loop. Same complaints. Same frustrations. Same results.

The Uncomfortable Truth About Feeling Stuck

Here's something most people don't want to hear:

Feeling stuck is almost always a choice problem, not a circumstance problem.

I'm not saying circumstances don't matter. They do. Some people have it harder than others. Some situations genuinely have fewer options. I'm not going to pretend that everyone starts from the same place or has access to the same resources.

But within your circumstances, whatever they are, there are still choices.

Maybe the choices aren't great. Maybe they're all some version of "hard." But they exist.

The person who says "I have no choice but to stay in this soul-crushing job" usually has choices. They might not like those choices. The alternatives might involve risk, discomfort, or sacrifice, but the choices are there.

→ Staying is a choice.
→ Leaving is a choice.
→ Looking for something else while staying is a choice.
→ Renegotiating your role is a choice.
→ Setting better boundaries is a choice.
→ Updating your resume is a choice.

Each of those leads somewhere different.

Why We Avoid Owning Our Choices

If taking responsibility for our choices is so powerful, why do most people avoid it?

Because it's uncomfortable.

Owning your choices means owning your outcomes. And when those outcomes suck, that's a hard pill to swallow.

It's easier to blame the economy, your boss, your upbringing, your spouse, the government, the weather, or Mercury being in retrograde.

Blame feels safe. It protects your ego. It lets you off the hook.

But it also keeps you powerless.

When you blame external forces for your situation, you hand over control to those external forces. You become a passenger in your own life, waiting for something out there to change before things can get better in here.

That's a miserable way to live.

The Power Shift That Changes Everything

The moment you accept that your choices brought you here is the moment you realize your choices can take you somewhere else.

That's not a burden. That's freedom.

It means you're not trapped. It means you're not a victim of circumstance. It means the steering wheel is in your hands, even when the road is rough.

Will every choice lead to a perfect outcome? No.

Will you make bad choices sometimes? Absolutely.

But at least you're in the driver's seat.

And when you screw up (which you will, because you're human), you can course-correct. You can learn. You can make a different choice next time.

That's how progress happens.

How To Start Taking Ownership of Your Choices

If you've spent years avoiding responsibility for your decisions, this shift won't happen overnight. But it can start today.